56 year old with treated cranio

[monty]

You keep writting my mind. It's both comforting and disturbing. I am glad you have found a "measure of peace". Do you think you will ever find total peace?

[G2sMama]

For what it's worth, I'm not sure any of us (cranio or otherwise) have found "total" peace.

I'm really glad you both are on here.

[Lars]

You keep writting my mind. It's both comforting and disturbing. I am glad you have found a "measure of peace". Do you think you will ever find total peace?

It's all relative. Like the lady said, has anyone found total peace?

[cheryl2]

I always think that if we didn't deal with cranio, it would have been something else. Everyone has their cross to bear in life.

[karlila]

Thank you Lars for sharing your story. Im a young mom of a beautiful soon to be 2 year old baby boy.

I frequently find myself wondering if we are doing enough for him. I understand how it is to live with a "different" look since I have had 3 episodes of bell's palsy that left me with asymmetrical face features. I am very self conscious about it, and for years I did not smile without covering my mouth. I think if only my mom would have done more research, I would have had better results, but like you I never questioned her about it. I know this is way different than what you guys have to live with, and for the same reason, I am always afraid of falling short with our son.

Sometimes, I feel I have him under this huge magnifying glass, and I cannot stop feeling guilty about it. I really try to treat him normal, and not make a big deal about his craniofacial features, and I guess that is what your mom was trying to do with you.

I was def against another surgery for Agustin (as a child), but when the time comes I will keep an open mind about it.

Thanks again for sharing!

Karla

[monty]

It's all relative. Like the lady said, has anyone found total peace?

I suppose not many!

I hope the surgery works for me as well. I don't know whether I deserve it though in honesty, whether I could have been a better person.

I have always been able to lift people along with my own mental attitude or bring them down with it also. I sincerely hope that if surgery makes me annonymous, that I earn it, that I am happy and of some use to people in this life.

[Lars]

Hi Monty,

Don't you ever sleep? :)

You didn't deserve the birth defect and you are as deserving of a normal life as anyone.

I always find it ironic when I watch TV. All you see is adverts for stuff that will give you better skin, nicer hair, cleaner teeth, less fat... Nobody is told they don't deserve those things.

But if you're born with a birth defect you're supposed to suck it up and somehow be an example and an inspiration to everyone. I never wanted to be anyone's poster child.

Getting my birth defect fixed did not make me a better person. It just removed an excuse for not being a better person. I'm OK with that. The people around me are OK with that too. They can call me out on being a jerk and I have no excuse. It keeps me honest.

By the way - I'd bet there are a lot more perfect heads than perfect people...

[monty]

Yeah I'm getting about 6 hours a night these days ;-)

[monty]

I'm starting to doubt they will be able to fix me. I spoke to the secretary of the lady that will be doing my surgery a couple of weeks ago and she said to email her with any queries I had. I had alot of queries but I tuned it down to the minimum. Yet to recieve a reply. Was kinda hoping to get one before the weekend to give me something to think about.

I walked down the street without my cap today and my head shaved. Went for breakfast in a cafe. People stared and I heard a couple talking behind my back whilst I ate. I'm not very strong

It is pissing me off these days though as much as it upsets me. Dunno if that's better. A bit of anger at least let's one feel alive rather than the hollow feeling of isolation.

People are bloody stupid. I try to follow some of the philosophies of Buddhism these day but damn some of those people, I wish they experienced what I have felt. Terrible to say

[Lars]

Hi Monty,

I am by no means fixed and I am still self-conscious enough to wear a hat whenever I can. I am sometimes even too self-conscious to try on hats in public. My wife orders them on-line. My head is still bumpy and lop-sided. Photos of me make me cringe.

The difference is that people probably don't notice as much as they would have before the surgery. They might look and wonder what's with the guy with the long head and the high, narrow forehead but it's close enough to "normal" that they have nothing to really latch onto. It's just slightly outside normal parameters.

There will always be jerks in the world who will make fun of people for something - too short, too tall, too fat - whatever. We can't do anything about that. My mom used to tell me to punch them in the nose but that never solved anything. I preferred to avoid those situations as much as I could. I hid, basically. After the surgery I hid less but I'm still very wary and self-conscious.

I don't know what the surgeons are going to do for you. They might just deal with the most obvious cosmetic differences. You'll find out when they assess you. They have to work within what's possible.