OMG i am sat here thinking of all sorts. I am so worried about this operation and how Ruby is going to feel!
I am worried she is going to be in pain or feel some sort of pain. I do not want to pack her things, I have gathered a few of her clothes up to take and even that makes me burst into tears, i feel as though I am packing her life up!
I am freaking out and I don't know what I can do to calm myself. I am trying to think that in a couple of weeks this will all be over with, but what my beautiful happy little girl has to go through before that coupld of weeks is terrifying me. everyone says it will be ok and i am fed up with them saying it. i am very snappy with my family and say how do you know she will be ok, have you got a crystal ball!
I feel dead inside!! any advice?
Jacky



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The weeks leading up were the hardest for me. I went to see my doctor, she gave me ativan to take the edge off. 

