It might not seem like I do because most of the time I wait until everyone is asleep. Then I use the darkness of the night to hide my tears. Like a baby I cry myself to sleep and I silently wish the tears will wash all of this fear away.
I research and I read and I blog until my eyes bleed. My poor eyes. I can't learn enough... can't know enough. I keep on searching for a different/better answer when I know I have already found it.
So tonight I had a moment. One of those revelation type "i've seen the light" moments and I don't know what prompted it or why it happened when it did. We have been post op for about two months now and as happy as I've been that we are "on the other side" I still found myself being bitter that other new mom's didn't have to deal with the worry, what ifs, and anxiety that I have experienced on and off since the day Gabey was born. Every time I saw a facebook post about a baby
When first starting on the crazy cranio roller coaster I got so much comfort and support from everyone on CK. So in efforts to pay it forward I documented Gabe's diagnosis/surgery/recovery on video with the hope of helping future families just starting down the cranio path. I don't know what I would have done without all of you! Thank you so much for your love and support. xoxo
(thank you tammy for the embedding tip!)
Updated 07-30-2011 at 11:11 PM by BabyGabey
So far being a mommy has been much of a whirlwind. I have spent the first 3 months in a ball of stress surrounding Gabe's diagnosis, Gabe's surgery, Gabe's recovery, and now Gabe's helmet therapy. To top it off my husband just started a new job so he is out training in California while I'm home in Pennsylvania feeling overwhelmed and tackling much of this on my own. After an afternoon of events that could only be seen on a television sitcom I decided that unless I can stop and laugh at the craziness