Time is getting closer

[mom2mykidos3]

The time for Miriam's surgery is getting closer. I was in church today and I realized that we only have about a month left. I just started to cry. I am sure everyone thought I was crazy.Plus, this week we go and get the ct scan and meet the NS. Then she starts her shots of Procrit on the
15th and has one every week after that. We are going to be so busy I know the time is going to fly by. I thought the hardest part was waiting and now it seems like I don't want it to come. She is so precious and sweet. I can tell this is going to be harder than I had thought. Up to now I think I have handled it verly well.
My sister came to dinner tonight. She has a daughter that is 7 months old. I got kind of sad looking at her. All of my children were able to play with her and carry her around. Even my Hunter that is 2. It made me wish that I could have no worries about my daughter. I am constantly worrying about who is holder Miriam and what they are doing with her.
Sorry to complain, but I just need some support. My nerves are getting the better of me now. I am sure as we get closer to the 6th of October it will even get worse. Have any advice on how to get along for the next month. I always am saying that time goes by weather you want it to or not, but your child is involved it makes it really hard.
Thanks for listening.

[snickers9246]

Heather, it's not complaining.. :hugg It's normal. We've all beent here, we know exactly how you feel. Holding her and wishing everything about her was okay and nothing had to be changed and that she didn't ned the surgery. There were so many days I just sat and watched her and cried. i would hold her at night while nursing her and try to memorize every little bump on her beautiful head so I wouldn't forget how absolutely beautiful she ws the way God gave her to me, but now I see she looks the way she was meant to look. It's was by far the scariest thing either my husband or I have ever been through, but it is a necessary surgery and once it's over, the weight of the world will be removed from your shoulders.

So please don't think you're complaining, it's normal, and that's what we're here for. We understand and we will try to help you get through this the best that we can from a distance. :hugg

Let us know anytime you need to chat or vent!!

[craniomommynbaby]

Like Tracey said, the feelings you are having are very normal; you are not crazy. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. In the weeks before Simon's surgery, I found myself spending more time with him and thinking "What if this is the last time I get to experience this with him?" I did not voice that aloud for fear that someone would refer me to a psychologist or something, but I came to find out that such thoughts are part of the process. Although the surgery is statistically safer than driving your car and doing other daily things, we are parents and are still going to worry ourselves sick. I also found myself jealous of friends and family who had babies that did not need surgery and were developmentally on track. I hid it the best I could, but it was hard to be happy for other people and their kid's accomplishments.
Once the surgery is over, though, your little one will amaze you. These babies are so strong, and you will eventually feel like a huge weight is off your shoulders. In the meantime, staying busy helped me to get through those last difficult weeks. We also took pictures from all different angles, including some family portraits the week before the surgery. It is so nice to have those now and compare. It is also nice to have them in the hospital for the nurses to see how your little one looked before the surgery and the swelling. Before you know it, you will be looking into those eyes and seeing a much rounder head.
Before you get there, we are here to lean on.