View Full Version : It happened again.
03-11-2006, 08:10 PM
Maybe I am overly sensitive, but I don't handle these negative comments very well. Today we were at the mall letting the boys play at this little play area when this little girl comes up to me and Vance and asks "what is wrong with his face?" My heart just sunk. I didn't even know what to say.:uh What is wrong with his face?? I don't see it, I guess because he is my son and I think he is so handsome. I just don't want this to be something that he has to deal with the rest of his life. What do I do when he is old enough to understand what is being said?? Now I wonder what everyone is really thinking when they look at him. :no :cry
03-11-2006, 08:45 PM
Aw, hon. :hugg :hugg :hugg :hugg :hugg
When things like that happen, it is so difficult to respond. At least for me, I am usually sitting there in shock that someone could be so bold and do not recover in time to answer. The clever retorts pop into mind much later.
Anyhow, the only advice I can offer is to tell the child that nothing is "wrong" with his face and that God made each of us to be different. You can point out that each person is a different size with different hair and skin colors. This way, it becomes a teachable moment for both that child and your son. As he grows up, he gets the message that being different is nothing to be ashamed of, and he also learns how to answer when people ask him inappropriate questions.
By the way, I do not see where Vance has anything "wrong" with his face. He is a cute little man, and you are not merely blinded by mommy love.
03-12-2006, 12:24 PM
:wtf I'm sorry you had another bad experience... I tell you, I saw his pics in the t-shirts and I really saw nothing unordinary w/ him. He is simply beautiful:adore, and whether other people see that is not your problem! Not all children look the same, like Cindy said noone is perfect.:no Hopefully you won't have another situation like that, and if you do ignore it, Vance is a doll, and not just in your eyes...:wink
03-13-2006, 08:51 AM
Awwww, Denise I'm so sorry your so upset. We're so lucky to have each other here and to be able to come and vent when we need to. Vance is absolutely adorable. I honestly don't hink he looks any different than any othr cute little ones out there. Is it maybe his scar from his lip surgery she saw? You can't see it in the pictures, maybe she noticed it??
How old was she?? I think cindy's right to explain to her that he looks different than her, or you or anyone else cause God makes us all different, then give a piercing evil eye to her parent!! LOL!!
Give him a kiss from Doodles!!
03-13-2006, 12:59 PM
I'm sorry Denise, I know how much tha thurts :hugg Vance is absolutely perfect and beautiful if you ask me! I think Cindy's idea of letting them know that nothing is wrong with him and God makes us all different is a reat idea! :hugg :hugg
03-13-2006, 04:13 PM
Denise, I too am sorry to hear that you had to go through that again. First of all, I must say that Vance is a beautiful boy. Like the girls have said, we are all different in some way. Some of us have big noses, little noses, blue eyes, brown eyes, short, tall, slim, large and people can be very cruel, especially children. We are all unique in our own little way. I agree with Cindy and if this happens again simple explain that we are all different and God made us that way. It will definetely be a learning experience for everyone, the child, it's parents and Vance. You will be building self esteem for him as he gets older. Hopefully, this won't re-occur but I am certain that all of our children will be picked on or made fun of something as they grow older. We just have to show them to be strong and confident.:adore :hugg
03-15-2006, 09:24 AM
Thanks everyone!:hugg :hugg I feel much better about the whole thing now. I am so glad I have all of you that actually understand, and you always give great advice! Another little boy came up to us the other day and started talking to Vance, the only thing he noticed was a little scratch on his nose! So maybe that is what the little girl had seen, and I just assumed that it was worse. Either way I won't let it bother my so much next time!
03-18-2006, 03:31 PM
The next time someone asks "what's wrong with his face?" and you don't think they are talking about a scratch, ask them "what's wrong with your manners?". Vance is gorgeous - and with your love and support he will always know that.
A big hug,
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