How to stay sane?

[Garyosu]

Teagen's surgery is this Tuesday but we leave tomorrow for pre-surgery testing and other preparations. Last night I totally lost it being so worried about what's going to happen. I tried to sleep but kept waking up every 45 minutes or so and I'd immediately start thinking about the surgery.

I've never felt so out of control of my thoughts before. I've read everything there is to know about what they're going to do during the surgery and the risks and recovery involved. Even though I know it's unlikely that anything bad will happen, I still can't help fearing the worst.

I've gotten so much information and strength from this site since April so I figured I'd better come back one more time before surgery and ask - how did you make it through? How did you not go crazy with worry before, during and after the surgery?

Thanks for any advice you have.

[Mgbianco]

I know.....we have 12 days before Angelo's surgery and I can't sleep too. I have headaches almost daily and I also feel sick to my stomach. Its so hard 'cause I have to take care of my 2 year old too.
All I can do is pray every night for my little champ and all the other kiddies that have to do these kind of surgeries.

[andrews mommy]

our surgery is in 3 weeks after a 7 month wait..i cry everytime i think. work was a good way to keep my mind busy until last week when no matter what i said made me cry so i left work went to the dr and they prescribed me anti-anxiety meds which i've only taken twice and only half of 1. It truly does take away the anxious part of the wait and i don't feel drugged. Good luck tuesday everything will be okay..it has to.

[Nichole]

i know everyone says it, but everything will be fine, just have faith in that. get rest now cause recovery will kick your butt if you r not prepared and rested! best of luck! xo

[evergreenmom]

I gained a lot of strength from all of the folks here who got through it before me and shared all of their experiences of success. This place is a life saver in your darkest moments when you just need to vent or take solace in what others can share with you.

I gained the most strength from my son- just looking at him and holding him and knowing what a marvel he is and how strong and beautiful- I just knew he had to be all right and I knew he needed me to be strong. Babies have an amazing lust for life- truly they are all little miracles already- our cranio kids are just extra miraculous- you will see!!!

[MBSzafranski]

We have all been there! I think we were all sure that our kid was going to be the one where something went wrong(I know I was!) but, in the end they make it through and amaze us with their strength!

Something I found that helped: I would countdown until we would be home from the hospital. Instead of saying "surgery is in 3 days" I would say "one week from today we will be home and it will all be behind us." I know it sounds silly, but it really helped me to stay sane.

I will be thinking of you this week! Lots of prayers coming your way!!

[dannlark]

It's just amazing how your brain just takes over on the big day. I felt such a crazy sense of calm that day, like it's just something that we're going to do and all will be fine. Not to say that the handing over part is easy, it's not, in any way, but that calm sense of, OK it needs to be done and we're just a step away from it all being over took over. Adrenaline is a wonderful natural drug and we've all been pumped full on the big day. The whole process once the hand over happens just flies by. You'll see your cutie pie before you know it. Hang in there, it's nothing but a thing and then... the other side!!!! It's beautiful over here!!!! I promise!!

[Davies Mum]

Teagen's surgery is this Tuesday but we leave tomorrow for pre-surgery testing and other preparations. Last night I totally lost it being so worried about what's going to happen. I tried to sleep but kept waking up every 45 minutes or so and I'd immediately start thinking about the surgery.

I've never felt so out of control of my thoughts before. I've read everything there is to know about what they're going to do during the surgery and the risks and recovery involved. Even though I know it's unlikely that anything bad will happen, I still can't help fearing the worst.

I've gotten so much information and strength from this site since April so I figured I'd better come back one more time before surgery and ask - how did you make it through? How did you not go crazy with worry before, during and after the surgery?

Thanks for any advice you have.
It is so good to know that everyone else feels and thinks the same things. Our sons surgery is this Thursday. Good luck for Teagans

[mom2henry]

I'm there with you. I am doubting myself every day when I look at my son's scar-free head. I'm so scared for what's to come and if we're making the best decision for him. I have nothing to offer but empathy and hugs for what you're going through. Best of luck!

~Anna

[Orla&Ronan]

Best of luck tomorrow - know how you are feeling. We were meant to be heading off last Monday but it got cancelled at the last minute (for the second time). Have a constant sick feeling in my stomach and now just want to get it over with. You will be fine - all the other members experience is a great help and you will be advising the rest of us soon. Take care.

[QueenB]

I just told myself that I (and my husband) had to be strong for him. Because if we weren't there for him, who would be. And even at that young age, they can sense fear. Just imagine if you were going into surgery and everyone around you was crying and unable to control themselves. It wouldn't make you feel very secure or give you a sense that everything was going to be okay. We just went through it last month and I had heard before how some people got a sense of calm after the day of and I couldn't believe it. But, I ended up feeling the same way. Not that it was easy, just that we were that much closer to being done.
Best of luck to you

[*Jessica*]

Oh Gary. Reading your post brought SO many emotions flooding back. The stress of pre surgery is just the worst thing in the world. I think that is why they say "on the other side", because once you get through this big scary surgery, the rest is a cake walk. But there is more. You will have recovery, and follow ups...and the never ending (it seems) worry about is this lump ok? Is this bump ok? Should this or that, be like this or that. It is all part of this crazy cranio coaster that we are all on. But no one here rides alone! That's how you will stay sane. Venting, crying, posting. Whatever you do that makes you feel better, it will relieve the stress, and you will get to the other side...with us!:heartbeat

I will be thinking of Teagen tomorrow and :pray praying for a speedy recovery. Hang in there Gary, tomorrow you will be on the other side!

[Layla'smomE]

It is so much tougher on the parents than it is on the kiddos. We are moms (and dads) we worry. this is what we do. Try to rest your head. (some people may grumble a bit at this) but my physician put me on an antidepressant/anxiey med. For me, Layla's first surgery was the
hardest, but we had a lot of faith in the doctors we chose, their abilities, and God. I understand where you are coming from. I felt CRAZY before the surgery, but things went well for Layla after her surgeries. My best advice i can give you, is: first, know that you are not alone in your anxieties, we DO understand, also, i don't care if you do it holistically, through meditation, or with (LEAGL) drugs, but YOU NEED SOME PEACEFUL REST! Let us know how you fare. We'll be here every step of the way.

[Sam Y]

Hope the surgery went well for you and Teagen's recovery is going well..

[Garyosu]

Thank you all, Teagen's surgery went very well. Many of you may have seen updates on another post from earlier. She has just had her first formula after the surgery so we're waiting to make sure she keeps it down. Many of you have not yet been through the surgeries but believe me (even though I know you won't) it's not as hard for us as it seems beforehand.

It's hard for me to imagine what she's been through in the last 12 hours, but then I think about where she's come from in the last 12 months. I mean just 12 months ago, she was a five week old embryo just forming herself into the beautiful, blue-eyed, happy baby she is today. It's amazing what her little body has already been through and what it will go through again in the next days and weeks and months. She's so amazing and I'm so proud of her. She's already tougher than Daddy and she is teaching me so much about love and trust and courage and strength.

Thank you guys again for your words of empathy, sympathy and encouragement. I hope that Shannon and I can now return the favor for some other parents along this journey.