postsurgery clingyness ?

[mom2zach]

HI

I've noticed that many people have said that their children have had trouble getting back into routine, waking up at night, not wanting sleep alone, not wanting to be alone, etc. I was just wondering if this is true of all ages or mostly in older children. My son is going be be about 4 1/2 months at his surgery - I'm just wondering if at this age he will react this way?
Just curious and wondering what to expect. My mom will be staying with us while he's in the hospital to care for our older son, but will be leaving shortly after.
: )

[Jennifer]

Emily was 4 1/2 months for her surgery. Pre-surgery she was extremely fussy and would only really be heald by me or my husband. She slept in her own bed, but had no routine at all...would sleep for hours sometimes or for just an hour. After surgery, she was much more happy to go to other people (that she knew), but was sooo scared of the dark or sleeping in her bed alone. I had her back in our room for a few weeks and then in her bed with a lamp....she'd wake up screaming hysterically. This lasted for about 4 weeks? Basically- it's like having a newborn again (at least for me).

All that said, I've heard of babies just going back to their routine w/o a problem.....it's kind of- be prepared for the worst sleeping/hope for the best sleeping thing?

[Janet]

Fiona has not had surgery yet....but when we met our plastic surgeon he told us that when you get them home they usually go back a step...they act like newborns again....waking up all the time and clingy. Maybe he was just giving me the worst case senario to get me prepared. I'm sure all children are not like that, I guess it's because if you have them in a good routine that goes out the window while in the hospital.

[jessbee78]

Befire surgery Logie used to wake up once a night and was quite settled. Never really slept throughout the day and was always needing to be held. In hospital it was up and down with the nights, and the first week home was terrible. He was waking up to 7 times a night. My hubby and I took it in turns each night so one of us had a rest. He went from his bassinette before surgery to his cot after - I thought it was a good time to move him into his cot since he was in one in hospital.
2 weeks after surgery he was sleeping for longer blocks 2-3 hours at a time during the night. Now 5 weeks later he wakes 2 times a night, and he is still clingy during the day. I think it is just in his nature aswell to be clingy, not so much from the surgery itself.
Just be prepared for some rough nights when you are home so then you won't be so upset with the restless nights.

[mom2zach]

Thank you for your responses! It looks like I should expect some rocky nights!
Right now he is in his own crib and wakes up once a night. There is a bed in his room, so maybe I should just plan on camping out there for a little while.
I've been thinking so much about the surgery that I haven't gotten to the post surgery thinking too much - so all this information is definitely helpful!!

[Rhonda O]

Zachary was 4 1/2 months when he had his surgery. He had just started sleeping through the night and after his surgery he no longer slept through the night. For quite a while, he was scared of the dark and was actually afraid to be in a room by himself. He still doesn't like the dark but has gotten a lot better (He is now 3).

[littlemamjo]

My daughter was is 15 days post opp., and is still having a hard time with sleeping. If she sees anyone she doesn't recognize she will scream. She won't sleep alone. I have her bassinet in the living room, and have been on the couch with her. It just seems easier for now, while she is getting up so much. I'm still praying for the day that she feels better. She was 4 1/2 months when she had surgery.

[Lori]

My grandson stayed in the hospital the first night,(7mo.s). The kids were just so drained. As a grandmother I worry about all of them! So, I stayed with them the first few nights. Knowing I was there gave them and me great comfort. Jon Jr. woke up several times during the night. Tylenol helps but I think the greatest comfort for them at this time is empathy. ...when you are hurting, just knowing someone else is aware and with you is great medicine. As a mother you must be there with this strength as they will look to you to see if everything is going to be ok. I learned much as a pathology coordinator and also spent lots of years in the ER as a skilled lab tech, going for arterial draws. The most bennificial medicine I have seen is love. You said your mom is with you, I just love hearing that! Remember to be kind to yourselves, with the sleep deprivation and all those emotions this is the time you need someone, even if it is yourself! Been there! Keep priorities realistic. The dishes are not as important as mom and baby getting a nice bath, or a nap.
My son had the same surgery at 6 weeks of age. I was a mess!! I have come a long way in the way of medical knowledge, however, with my grandson it was just as tough and difficult to get through. Rambling again!! Hopes this helps. I will add all the parents that come to this site already have the most important factor for being outstanding parents... the action of love. Good luck sweetie, you too Janet!

[Candice]

We are now 7 days post op, and it's been so rough at night. As previous posters have said, it's like having a newborn again! Last night was especially hard, she wanted to sleep on my chest. And when I would try to hold her any other way or put her down once she'd fallen asleep, her eyes would pop open and she'd begin to scream. I can tell that she is scared, when she wakes up, instead of being calm and making her cooing noises to get my attention,her eyes dart around the room and her little cry has so much fear in it. I know it will get better with time, and all I can do is be sure that my hub and I are there for her when she needs us. Other than the clingyness and sleeping problems, she has healed wonderfully and her head looks great. She is her normal self during the day, such a happy little thing. Good luck with the upcoming surgery, it's such a relief when it's over!!

[aine]

We too are having post op issues. Mia had her surgery friday and all went well. We left the hospital yesterday and are staying at a friends till friday. We then get a hotel for a week. Fun!

In the last 48 hours her appetite has been poorly. The only way we can get her to take her formula is when she is half asleep and even then is only an ounce or 2 at the most. She has a new cry, which is so sad and is not herself at all. Thankfully though she only woke 2ce in the night.

Has anyone else experienced the lack of appetite and new cry. She is only 4 and 1/2 months. If so, when can we expect her to be her old self again?

Thanks everyone.

[mayashekhina]

When Beth was intubated for her heart surgery both times her cry became alot weaker for months after, I know your bub probably had the tube down the throat to assist with breathing whilst under the anesthetic for surgery so she would also probably have some pain there, I would give her a few more days to recover assisting with tylenol as needed but I think if she doesnt recover her appetite by then or you are still concerned you shouldnt hesitate to get her checked even if it is to just put your concerns at rest.

[jenniferh]

You don't know how much relief you all have given me. Addie is going through all of these issues right now (5 days post op). She is not sleeping at night, scared cries, clingy. We've tried EVERYTHING. My hub and I take shifts at night so someone can get rest. I'm just nervous because I go back to work next week. Anyone have any advice or know how long it lasts? It's wearing us thin.