Question regarding recovery

[4myboys]

Remy will have his surgery May 7th and my mom is coming from Fl to help with our 3 yr old. Remy is very set in his ways, he has to have his routine, we literally cannot be out of the house at 6:00 pm or he loses it. He has been like this from the beginning. So I am wondering how long I should have my mom stay. Our house is tiny and she will be sleeping in the toy room but I am jusy worried that having her here after he gets home will be a disruption to him. I have a call into the nurse as I have questions regarding the stay and medications so I will also get feedback from them. Any insight will help - thanks for everything.

[cheryl2]

Hmm, on the one hand, they do say to go back to the usual routine as soon as possible after surgery. But, on the other hand, most kids have a lot of sleeping problems for a few weeks after surgery. With Clara, it was like having a newborn again, and she wouldn't go to sleep unless I was holding her. If I had another child, I'm sure I would have wanted someone around to help out.

[Mom2William]

Cheryl is right about the sleeping problems after the surgery. It does take a little while for them to get back to their normal sleep routine. However, with a another child in the house you will want (at least I would) the extra hand and help, especially with a busy 3 yr. old. Is it possible for your mom to take the 3 yr. old to her house for a special visit? I know that after the first week home that William was much more like himself and felt much better and was no longer taking any pain meds. So, maybe your mom could stay a 3 days to one week?

I am just thinking that you will appreciate the help. We have two older daughters and our friends helped so much by getting them from school and taking them to any games/practices for sports. It was a tremendous help. Also, they went grocery shopping for me and we had meals for almost one month. That in itself was such a godsend, it gave me time to take care of William and just focus on him. Plus it helped me to recover myself.

This is just what worked for me. I am sure you will figure out what will help you the most. Take care!

[sarahanne]

Hi there, I'm just home one day from Jack's hospital stay after surgery. From my short experience so far I can report that any help is certainly appreciated. My mum has helped with the general household chores (as Kim says, you'll need time to recover yourself also) and Jack does seem to be unsettled (very clingy and doesn't get to sleep so well which, as you probably know from newborn days, can be extremely tiring). My sister has been cooking meals for us all, and my husband has been taking our daughter to school and back. All this sounds as though I'm not doing much at all! But yet, I'm still emotionally drained and physically tired.

It's only my opinion, but maybe give an extra few days help from your mum some thought.

I wish you all the best.

Take care of yourself as well as your little ones.

Sarah

[Jennifer]

We had the older girls go to my m-i-l's house for a few days- during surgery and then for 2 more days once we got home. That being said- my MIL lives less than 5 miles from our house and my husband made sure he wouldn't be working at all the week following the surgery- we all needed time to recover. The clingyness was the hardest for me with the siblings as Emily didn't want anyone but me- so that was hard on the others as I was constantly with her and didn't get to spend alot of time with them.

Is your mom close by? Okay- just read that she is coming from Florida- obviously not! Is it maybe possible (if space is really tight) to have her and your 3 year old to stay at a hotel for 1 or 2 nights when you get back- therefore he gets a 'little vacation' and cool time w/ grandma and you have a day or 2 to just worry about you and Remy?

[Matthews Mommy]

Having at that time 3 other children at home I had my mom come from NY (we lived in Jersey at the time) and stay at my house for a month she arrived a week b4 surgery and I never left the hospital I slept there with Matthew for his whole stay, so having my mom be with the kids helped a great deal. She kept them occupied when I got home with Matthew so I could care for him and helped with cooking it was real nice. Hope this helps, take care I'll pray for you.

[4myboys]

Thanks so much everyone for the suggestions. After getting feedback from you all I decided I need help after we come home as well as during the hospital stay so my mom is coming for 12 days I think this will be good for us all. I am just grateful she can do this for us as it is sucha big deal - she of course wouldn't miss it. We also decided my husband who can only take the surgery day off from work will ask to take the next Monday off so I can study as I have 2 finals that week. I know that whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger. AHHHHHHH! :)

[sarahanne]

You've got your hands full, that's for sure. However, I'm sure you'll find the strength to get through it all.

Good luck to you and your family.

Sarah