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Suzanne
02-09-2007, 02:58 PM
Hello All,

My name is Suzanne and I have 2 kids with craniosynostosis. Our son Sedric had surgery at 15 months of age and will be 3 next month. Monday, we found out the doctors want to do the same surgery for our daughter Serenity (currently 9 1/2 months) when she's about 12 months.

Our condition is syndromic. Yes, I included myself in that statement. Though I was never diagnosed with craniosynostosis, I share the same physical abnormalities as my children. I didn't even know until Sedric was born, and we started seeing a geneticist. (Boy was that a kick to the head!) The geneticist thinks we fit Saethre-Chotzen syndrome, but all testing has been negative thus far. I had a 50/50 chance of passing on the "bad" gene and struck out both times. Even though it was obvious Serenity had this gene, we were hoping she wouldn't have to go through surgery (her attributes look mild like mine).

We've been through it once with Sedric, so we know what to expect. That's the problem... I don't want to diminish the emotional plight of dealing with surgery the first time because I know how heartwrenching it was. But facing it a second time is killing me. I think you're all great wonderful people and I thank my husband for finding your site. Other people just don't understand. Reading some of your posts before and after surgery really brings back the memories.

Can anyone offer some advice as to what to tell/not tell Sedric?? I've considered showing him pictures of his own surgery closer to the date, but I don't want to freak him out, he's only turning 3. I just don't know how much I should try to prepare him.

And how do I stop thinking about "the first time"?

BTW, we're still waiting for the docs to schedule surgery. I called earlier and we might know later today.

Jennifer
02-09-2007, 07:56 PM
Welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you have to go through this twice. It's hard enough once!!!!! We're here for support. You know first hand how amazing they are and how quickly they bounce back, but that day will still be hard. :hugg When Emily had her first surgery, my oldest was almost 4, the second almost 2. I really didn't say anything to them...just let them know that we would be at the doctor for a few days as Emily had an 'owie' on her head that the doctors needed to fix and that when we got home, she might have some bruises and stuff, but that meant her owie was healing. Both of them came to the hospital on day 2 and they were more excited to go to the 'play' room that they passed on the way to her room-- they didn't really seem to notice. When we got home, they were both extremely protective of her and wouldn't let anyone near her head, but other than that, life was normal for them. When Emily had her 2nd surgery, our oldest was 6, middle 3 1/2- the oldest we showed pictures from the first surgery to remind her, 2nd we gave the same 'owie' story. Oldest (Sarah) came to the hospital and took it pretty hard- she tried to put on a 'tough' attitude, but had tears in her eyes. Reese (middle) is so care free, it didn't phase her.....
Well, I here trouble as I type...gotta go..... Again- Welcome!

Anna Webb
02-10-2007, 03:02 AM
Hi Suzanne,

Yes, Im so sorry you have to go through this twice. I may be able to help a little as my children are close in age to yours. Our son (non cranio) is 3 and a 1/2 and our daughter was 19months at the time of having surgery (3 weeks ago, and doing well). Yes, its tricky to know how much to tell the big brother. We kept it simple, if i was crying i told our boy as honestly but simply as i could, that i felt sad because Lily had to have an operation.... but i know its going to be ok and we will all get through this. He wanted to know what would happen to her during the surgery so i did explain that in a simple way and tried to answer his questions so it wasnt all unknown. i also told him she would look and feel sore afterwards but its still her and shell be back to normal really soon. I think it did help to just explain it all (just if he asked) so we wernt pretending we were all feeling great and although our son did play up alot for the first week or so, he soon calmed down, because he trusted us to keep him informed and that we didnt hide it from him. He has also been really gentle with her, (which hasnt always come naturally!!!!) and i think this is because he really understood that he needed to be gentle. we even got him to feel her head and see the scar so he understood it all. Although its been a traumatic and stressful time for us all, i know that the kids bond is even stronger for it. About forgetting the first time thing. I dont expect you will be able to as it wouldnt be a memory that would quickly fade. I found reading other peoples positive stories helpful. If its any help, i expected the absolute worst and put myself through hell, but Lily did amazingly and honestly, with the pain releif and constant love from myself and husband, she bounced back within 4 days and was trying to run!!!!!!!!!!! (to my horror)after 14 days she was back to her normal self (she had surgery for sagittal cranio)
All the best and I will pray that this waiting time will be quick for you so you can again put this all behind you for good.
anna

Jennifer
02-10-2007, 11:50 AM
I agree w/ Anna.....answer what they ask-- as simply as possible.....

mom2mykidos3
02-10-2007, 02:31 PM
With my kids I did show them pictures of other children after surgery. My older kids are 9 and 7 and they wanted to come to the hospital to see my daugher so I wanted to prepare them. I am glad I did.
Our hospital did have a "kids place" with a resource lady to explain what kinds of IV's Miriam would have so they wouldn't be scared with the say her hooked up to the machines. If your hospital has one I would go there.
My 2 year old didn't really know what was happening, except when we brought Miriam home and then all he said was she had an ouchy.

Suzanne
02-10-2007, 09:53 PM
Thanks for all the support and advice. I'll have to take my cues from him. I'm just worried because he'll be at the hospital with us, since it's an hour from home.
Thanks again -Suzanne